Sitting down at the divorce negotiation table with your spouse can be nerve-wracking. After all, you and your spouse may not have spoken to each other face-to-face in some time, and you might be worried that the emotions wrapped up in the process will get the best of you or your spouse.
But even if you’re anticipating an amicable divorce, there are still several legal issues that you have to hash out during these negotiations. With so much hanging in the balance, you can find yourself riddled with uncertainty and anxiety.
Regardless of how you’re feeling, though, you should take comfort knowing that there are steps you can take to make your divorce negotiations as peaceful as possible. Let’s look at some of them here so that you can tamp down some of the anticipated conflict that you could experience and set yourself on course for a peaceful divorce.
Ways to ensure that your divorce negotiations play out peacefully
Successfully negotiating the legal issues in your marriage dissolution requires adequate preparation. This means knowing the assets that are in play and how the law is going to apply to your circumstances. Here are some other steps you can take to position yourself for a peaceful and successful negotiation process:
- Leave the past in the past: Dredging up hurtful events from the past is likely to touch a nerve that will quickly derail your negotiations. Although you might want explanations for why your spouse acted the way they did in your marriage, your settlement negotiations aren’t the place to seek them. Come to terms with the fact that you’ll need to focus on the future when you’re resolving your divorce.
- Have clear goals: Divorce negotiations can get messy when there aren’t clearly defined goals. So, before sitting down at the negotiation table with your spouse, make sure you know exactly what you want to get out of your divorce and what you’re willing to give up to secure it.
- Find effective means of communication: Conflict often arises in divorce when spouses can’t successfully communicate with one another. That’s why it’s a good idea to find a communication methodology that works for both you and your spouse, and one that doesn’t cause miscommunications or present an unintended tone. Simply ask your spouse what kind of communication style works for them.
- Know that you’ll get through this: It may not seem like it at the time, but you will get through your marriage dissolution. Try looking at your divorce in the larger picture. This can help you realize that this is just a short, albeit difficult, chapter in your life. Again, you can and will get through your divorce, giving you a new start to your life.
- Take care of yourself: It’s easy to be hard on yourself during the divorce process. And the stressors that you’ll experience can be significant. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself by getting plenty of rest, eating a balanced diet, and exercising. It sounds simple enough, but you might be surprised at how much better you’ll feel by engaging in self-care and partaking in activities that you find enjoyable.
You don’t have to let your divorce take a toll on you
Although divorce is stressful under any circumstances, you can take control over its impact on you. By doing so, you can enter your divorce negotiations with a clear head and a focus on building your future. Hopefully then you can successfully turn to the next chapter of your life without the toxicity that often accompanies a highly conflicting divorce.