If your marriage is on the rocks and headed toward divorce, then you’re probably dreading the long, drawn-out fights that await you. You might envision contentious court battles like those portrayed in television and in movies, and you could be concerned that your spouse is going to turn into a different person as they try to get back at you.
But the marriage dissolution doesn’t have to be as contentious as you think. In fact, you and your spouse might find a way to work together to make your divorce amicable and beneficial to both of you. That’s the goal of collaborative divorce, where you and our spouse each bring in supports, such as financial professionals and divorce coaches, to help you get through the process in a fare yet favorable way.
Although the hope is that you and your spouse will get along during your collaborative divorce, there are mistakes that you can make along the way that can jeopardize your marriage dissolution. Let’s take a closer look at some of those errors so that you know how to avoid them.
Mistakes to avoid in your collaborative divorce
Although collaborative divorce can be extremely beneficial, mistakes made along the way can quickly derail it. Here are some of those mistakes that you’ll want to avoid:
- Not willing to compromise: Collaborative divorce is dependent upon the spouses willingness to find common ground. If you’re unwilling to compromise and give in on to a certain extent on key issues to the benefit of both you and your spouse, then collaborative divorce isn’t right for you.
- Not wanting to communicate: Divorce can make it hard to communicate with your spouse. But if you want to try to end things on amicable terms and get through your marriage dissolution without the need for litigation, then you’re going to have to be able to talk to your spouse. If you’re unwilling to do that, then a collaborative divorce probably isn’t the best option.
- Seeking guidance from family members: Your family members might be just as hurt by your divorce as you are. As a result, they might advise you to take actions that are aimed at getting back at your spouse rather than finding a collaborative and mutually beneficial outcome. This can derail your collaborative divorce, leaving you facing a much more contentious process than you initially expected.
- Being too accommodating: If you struggle to advocate for yourself, then the collaborative process might not be right for you, as you could end up giving too many concessions. Being too accommodating to your spouse can leave you in a less advantageous position post-divorce, meaning that you could lose out on much needed financial resources or even time with your children.
- Being taken aback by disagreement: Just because you seek a collaborative divorce doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy. You’re still going to have tough conversations about important issues. If you shut down during disagreements or struggle to voice your opinion when tensions rise, then you could see your collaborative divorce fail.
Learn more about whether collaborative divorce is right for you
You’re not going to be perfect going into your collaborative divorce. But if you want it to be successful, then you need to be flexible and prepared. To get to that point, though, you should have a full understanding of the ins and outs of the collaborative divorce process. You can educate yourself on the matter by reading up on this type of divorce and what it can and can’t do for you, which should give you comfort and confidence moving forward.