Six ways to reduce conflict in your divorce

Even if you think that you and your spouse can end your marriage on amicable terms, there’s always the possibility of there being more conflict than you anticipated. If you’re adverse to confrontation, or if you just want your divorce to be as smooth as possible, you’re probably looking for ways to minimize or outright avoid tension in your marriage dissolution.

Fortunately, there are steps that you can take to reduce the conflict in your divorce. Let’s look at some ways that you can go about doing that:

1. Leave the past in the past: There’s a reason that your marriage is ending. And perhaps you’ve been deeply hurt by those events. But dredging them up during your divorce can create a lot of conflict and hesitation to reach an amicable resolution. So, find another outlet for your emotional pain so that you can protect your health and well-being while also preserving the effectiveness of your chosen divorce process.
2. Find the best way to communicate: One way or another, you’re going to have to communicate with your spouse during the marriage dissolution process. If you want to reduce conflict, you’ll need to find the mode of communication that works best for both of you. Maybe you can get along just fine talking face-to-face or over the phone, but if not, you might want to consider sticking to written forms of communication.
3. Gain some perspective: Even if you feel like your spouse is completely off-base on a given issue, it might help to pause, take a step back, and try to view the issue through your spouse’s eyes. After all, there’s reason why he or she is advocating in the way that’s being presented. If you can understand where your spouse is coming from, even if you don’t agree with it, you’re much more likely to reduce tension and have productive conversations with them about the divorce issues at hand.
4. Don’t fight everything: Some people go into their divorce simply wanting to win every argument. This approach is exhausting and is often fraught with conflict. So, if you want to avoid that grueling process, you should pick your battles and avoid digging in your heels on every little issue.
5. Avoid using your children: Unfortunately, children are sometimes used as pawns in divorce proceedings. You don’t want your children to get caught in the middle of your marriage dissolution, as it can cause significant harm to them and create tension with your spouse. With that in mind, avoid speaking negatively about your spouse with your children and don’t drag your children into any disagreements that you and your spouse may be having.
6. Find support: Divorce is tough. You need to make sure that you’re physically, emotionally and psychologically prepared to navigate the process. You may be able to better protect yourself by surrounding yourself with a strong support network of family members, friends and mental health professionals.

There are, of course, other ways to reduce conflict in your divorce. One way is to take a collaborative approach to your divorce where you focus on working together with your spouse to find an outcome that is fair to everyone involved. Here, you and your spouse can work with a number of professionals who can help steer you through the process and find common ground. This process can take a considerable amount of tension and uncertainty out of your divorce, which may leave you feeling better about the future that’s ahead of you.

So, if you’re interested in learning more about the marriage dissolution avenues that are available to you, you may want to consider reaching out to a legal professional to discuss the matter further.